korte training: life after trauma, a 5 day training

This training is about understanding and healing trauma bonds, about dissociation in relationships, sexuality after trauma, taking control of your recovery and restore the quality of life again Also healing trauma opens the door to meditation and spirituality, we will look at that important aspect of healing trauma too.

This is a training of 5 days, every day we will go into a different subject:

  1. trauma bond
  2. dissociation
  3. sexuality and intimacy
  4. estore and revive, take your life back
  5. trauma and spirituality

Understanding and healing the Trauma bond.

- Trauma bonds occur in very toxic relationships, and tend to be strengthened by inconsistent positive reinforcement—or at least the hope of something better to come. Trauma bonds occur in extreme situations such as abusive relationships, hostage situations, and incestuous relationships, but also in any ongoing attached relationship in which there is a great deal of pain interspersed with times of calm (or maybe just less pain). I liken it to a heroin addiction—the relationship promises much, gives fleeting feelings of utopia, and then it sucks away your very soul. Trauma bonds are very strong and many people live in these relationships where they are re-traumatized all the time. These bonds are compelling and hard to break free from and many relationships end up in versions of these powerful negative dynamics. Coming out of these connections is difficult, we need a lot of support and understanding and require learning how to grieve and feel our pain. Often it means learning once again to be alone and finding positive resources as well as developing skills to recognize and avoid being drawn into these kind of situations again. We will master a psychological understanding of trauma bonds and attachments and develop working skills to help clients break free from all toxic relationships where our traumas are reinforced.

Dissociation in Relationships.

Dissociation is a way people, to varying degrees, disconnect from their thoughts and feelings in order to avoid pain or traumatic memories. It is a refuge of sorts into an altered state of mind that is often characterized by obsessive thoughts, fantasies, or even non-thinking states. It can be employed consciously or unconsciously as a defense mechanism and can range in intensity from spacing out to being terrified to getting angry . In the basic trauma training we learn how to deal with disassociation, how to recognize it and work with it. But here we will learn to bring this awareness to couples who trigger each others wounds . We will also learn to help people to work with their disassociation in creative ways that allow people to come closer not to create more division and separation. What helps this is simple grounding exercises and boundary work and communication that allows us to feel our feelings yet stay present in our bodies.

Sexuality after trauma

Once we have had trauma that affects our relational field or even sexual trauma it can be very difficult to enter again into vibrant sexual relationships. If we have had trauma we can tend to protect ourselves by becoming controlling or walled off or demanding and entitled, and it is frightening to feel pleasure in our bodies or even experience the capacity to let go and find full expression. So we need to learn to help clients feel safe in sex and intimacy. To feel vitality in letting go and safety in our bodies natural expression. Here we work with aspects of kundalini yoga and other practices like dance, breath and exploring safety with protection yet allowing connection at the same time. We need to learn how to bring sex and heart together and learn to include your partner by sharing with them what the space is that you want and need to create with them in intimacy. It takes a lot of courage to open and be vulnerable and needs to be a shared process of two people in a couple. We will learn the dynamics of sexual healing and how to approach the subject of sex so that there is no pressure and stress. There is understanding, acceptance and respect and a return to healthy boundaries.

Restore and Revive….the full healing..

Taking control of your recovery And restore the quality of life again Trauma can make us feel less alive and fearful about living in case we get hurt again. In this section we learn to stop feeling victimized and instead to feel empowered. So we have the full quality of a creative and expressive life. Reclaiming our confidence as a person, a man or a woman. Owning our creative abilities and our dreams and visions.

Trauma and spirituality

Trauma and spirituality share a profound connection, according to psychologist Peter Levine. And by learning how to work with trauma properly, it can become a portal to transformation. Levine’s work focuses on helping people heal from the trauma in their lives. Part of his method involves teaching them to surrender safely and at the right time. However, unlike the popular connotation of the term ’surrender,’ it has nothing to do with giving up. As we heal trauma it opens a door into meditation as leaning to be present is such a big part of healing. This then develops in a form of enquiry and ongoing meditation practice that is essential to heal our trauma and return us to a deep state of living essential fullness and aliveness Aspects of essencework (the pearl) are included in this.